roonee As a parent of twins with special needs, public meltdowns have become a part of my life. No matter how much you prepare, sometimes things just get overwhelming for your child. Meltdowns in public spaces can be incredibly stressful, not just for your child, but for you, and often, the people around you too. If you’re like me, you’ve probably been in that situation where everything is going fine, and then suddenly, it’s not.
It’s important to know that meltdowns are not tantrums. They are a reaction to sensory overload, frustration, or emotional distress. These situations require understanding, patience, and a set of strategies to manage them. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way that have helped me handle meltdowns in public with my twins.
1. Prepare Before You Leave the House
Preparation is key to managing meltdowns before they even start. When my twins and I head out, I always have a mental checklist of potential triggers. If loud noises are an issue, I’ll pack noise-canceling headphones. If it’s crowded, I make sure they have a comfort item, like a favorite toy or sensory tool. Preparing for possible stressors can help prevent an outburst and provide comfort for your child in unfamiliar environments.
2. Stay Calm and Collected
In the heat of a meltdown, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed yourself. However, your child feeds off your energy, so staying calm is crucial. I’ve found that taking deep breaths and reminding myself that this is not a personal failure helps me stay focused. When you keep calm, it reassures your child that they are safe, and it helps de-escalate the situation faster.
3. Have a Meltdown Toolkit
It’s always helpful to have a “meltdown toolkit” ready to go. This can be a small bag filled with things that soothe your child, such as fidget toys, snacks, or a weighted blanket. I’ve found that having these items at hand can sometimes stop a meltdown before it spirals out of control. Even if the meltdown has already started, these tools can help bring comfort and familiarity to your child during a stressful time.
4. Remove Them from the Situation
If possible, removing your child from the environment can work wonders. For my twins, just stepping into a quieter space makes a significant difference. If you’re in a shop, don’t hesitate to leave your shopping trolley behind and head for the exit. Sometimes, a brief change of scenery can help your child reset and feel less overwhelmed.
5. Ignore the Stares
One of the hardest parts of managing meltdowns in public is the attention it draws. People will stare, some may make comments, and it can be really hard not to feel judged. I’ve learned over time that the best approach is to focus entirely on my child and not worry about anyone else. You know your child best, and your priority is calming them down, not appeasing the bystanders.
6. Use Soothing Language and Reassurance
Speak to your child in a soft, calm voice. Sometimes, I’ll hum or quietly sing a familiar tune to my twins. Using phrases like “You’re safe,” “I’m here,” or “We’ll get through this together” helps reassure them. It may take time, but verbal comfort can often help ease the emotional distress.
7. Plan Post-Meltdown Recovery
Once the meltdown subsides, don’t rush to get back to your activity. Give your child some time to calm down completely. Offer a snack, some water, or just a quiet moment in a safe space. After a meltdown, children can be exhausted, and rushing them back into the previous situation might cause a second wave of distress. I often find that I’m feeling frazzled too after dealing with a meltdown, so I always try to pack a drink and a snack for me. I’ve recently started popping an essential oil roller into my bag too – I can roll a bit onto my wrists to help me destress. I found some really lovely calming scents on Etsy but I’m pretty sure Holland and Barrett sell some great ones too if you’re interested in giving them a go.
Conclusion
Managing public meltdowns with special needs children is no easy feat. With patience, preparation, and a set of practical strategies, it is possible to navigate these situations with grace and care. I’ve found that the most important thing is to stay focused on your child, remain calm, and ignore any judgment from others. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job, even when the meltdowns happen.
