roonee It’s 3am, and I’m sitting here supervising my twins, who are both wide awake. Sleepless nights are something I’ve become very familiar with as an autism parent. While most nights, my twins sleep well, there are times when sleep simply doesn’t seem to be on their agenda—and those nights can feel endless.
If you’re navigating the reality of sleepless nights, know that you’re not alone. Much like the newborn stage, there are strategies to help make these challenging nights a little easier and ways to manage the aftermath. Here’s what has worked (so far!) for me as a parent managing these situations.
Understanding autism and sleep challenges
Sleepless nights often go hand in hand with autism. Research shows that autistic children are more likely to experience sleep disturbances, from difficulty falling asleep to waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake for hours. This can be due to sensory differences, difficulty regulating melatonin, or simply how their brains process the need for rest.
While it’s not always possible to “fix” the sleep challenges, there are ways to make these nights less stressful for everyone.
Tips for surviving sleepless nights
1. Create a calm, low-stimulation environment
If your child is awake, keep the atmosphere as calm and quiet as possible. Dim the lights, keep noise to a minimum, and avoid overly stimulating activities. In our house, I use soft lighting and let my twins engage with soothing sensory toys or look through their favourite books and catalogues to keep them calm and occupied.
2. Have a nighttime toolkit ready
Prepare for sleepless nights in advance by assembling a “nighttime toolkit.” Ours includes:
- Weighted blankets for comfort
- Sensory toys to keep their hands busy
- Calming stories
- Noise-canceling headphones, if needed
Having these items ready reduces the stress of scrambling for solutions in the middle of the night.
How to stay awake and aware as a parent
Let’s face it—parenting through sleepless nights is tough. Here are some practical strategies to help you stay alert and functional when you’re up in the middle of the night.
1. Keep moving
When I feel myself getting drowsy, I find that getting up and moving around helps a lot. Whether it’s tidying up a corner of the room, or stretching, keeping active can keep sleepiness at bay.
2. Drink water (or caffeinate wisely)
Dehydration can make fatigue feel worse, so I always keep a water bottle nearby. If I’m really struggling, I’ll brew a cup of tea or coffee—but I stick to small amounts to avoid feeling jittery or having trouble sleeping when I finally get the chance.
3. Use non-overpowering light
I keep a low-wattage daylight lamp in the room. It’s bright enough to help me feel more alert without overstimulating the twins.
4. Listen to something engaging
Pop in earbuds and listen to a podcast or audiobook while supervising your child. Choose something interesting but not too gripping—you don’t want to be too distracted. I actually find putting on news related radio shows, or BBC Radio 4 helps me.
5. Avoid sitting in complete comfort
I’ve learned the hard way that sitting in a super comfy chair or snuggling under a blanket can make me doze off. Instead, I sit on a dining chair or stay in a position where I’m less likely to fall asleep.
6. Set small goals
If the night feels endless, break it up into smaller chunks. For example, tell yourself, “I’ll stay awake for 30 minutes and reassess.” Taking things in smaller pieces can help the hours feel less daunting.
7. Practice mindfulness or grounding techniques
When I’m feeling particularly tired or frustrated, I try grounding techniques—like focusing on my breath or listing things I can see, hear, and feel around me. It helps me stay present and calm, even during tough moments. I actually have several apps on my phone that help me with this – my favourite is a fun one called Finch. It helps with all kinds of self care, but importantly, provides a library of short breathing exercises.
Preparing for the day after a sleepless night
When you’ve had a sleepless night, survival mode kicks in the next day. Here are some parent-specific tips:
1. Simplify the day
Lower your expectations and focus on essential tasks only. It’s okay if the house isn’t spotless or meals are super simple.
2. Rely on quick wins
Use pre-made meals or snack plates for the kids. If screen time is a lifesaver that day, don’t feel guilty about using it to buy yourself some time to rest or regroup.
3. Lean on your support network
If you have a partner or someone who can help, take turns resting. If you’re solo parenting, ask friends or family for help if it’s possible.
4. Nap when you can
I know it’s cliché, but napping when your child does—even if it’s just 15 minutes—can make a difference.
Long-term sleep solutions
For families navigating frequent sleep challenges, here are some strategies to explore:
1. Melatonin supplements
Many parents find melatonin helps regulate their child’s sleep. Speak to your paediatrician or GP about whether this might be suitable for your child. Our paediatrician has been very helpful for this, and has also referred us for sleep guidance!
2. Sleep hygiene practices
Establishing consistent bedtime routines and using tools like blackout curtains can help encourage better sleep patterns over time.
3. Sensory-friendly sleep products
Weighted blankets, calming scents like lavender, or white noise machines can create a more conducive sleep environment. We’ve had some success with child-friendly magnesium butter too – this can be rubbed into feet to help promote sleepiness!
4. Professional support
Sleep specialists or occupational therapists experienced in autism can provide tailored strategies for improving sleep.
Final thoughts
Sleepless nights are challenging, but they’re also an opportunity to build resilience and learn what works for your family. Remember, every child and parent is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.
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